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A culture gorging on porn
Why is there without any debate about how porn is perverting society, asks Simon Castles.
Probably the most in-demand video over this holidays might be a grainy three-minute affair starring party girl Paris Hilton and an ex. Millions have already seen it; millions more will. (The usual search suspects - "nude", "boobs" and "pussy" have been momentarily relegated.)
Not too anyone must search for this stuff anyway; it finds you. Email inboxes fill daily with teaser messages, many of them graphically informing users of who's putting what huge thing where and with what level of force and regularity. Day after wearying day, messages seeped in anger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], bodily fluid and sadness land on our desktops or pop-up unannounced in skittish cyber windows.
Basically appear to be a puritan, I am not. But ours is really a culture gorged to the max on pornography. It is everywhere. Yet we don't particularly like to talk about it. The silence is almost total - like for an office manager downloading a picture they shouldn't, hours after everyone's gone home.
We worry about child pornography,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], of course. Contributing to teenagers accessing hardcore sites. But there the issue ends. And also the silence begins.
In our rush to sound alarm bells over porn and our children, we ignore, or at best play down, anything else. Alongside our understandable horror at online pedophilia, other matters are normalised - as though there is something "normal" about women and men, the old and young,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], being alerted to material about enormous penises and ladies hungry for it.
I have seen the resigned sadness of women at the office when suddenly confronted by this type of material - when hit with anonymous bits of sex abuse from cyberspace. It's upsetting. Like a male you feel almost guilty, understanding that it's overwhelmingly your gender that has created the interest in this stuff. And now the provision has turned into a tsunami: the number of X-rated sites online is conservatively put at 8 million. And rising.
Not too women are alone in becoming wearied by the explosion in pornographic material. Males are affected too - even those who, like me, have fallen under its spell every once in awhile (I first experienced porn when I involved 14).
Whatever our feelings about porn culture,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I think we kid ourselves if we accept is as true doesn't exact a toll.
Porn takes its pound of flesh just like it gives it. Many of us are diminished,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], deadened, through the constant barrage of sexual imagery - not only from hardcore sources,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but from the advertising and media industries, which be porno every day.
Sexual imagery chips away at us, as transitory thrills give way to something more depressingly permanent. Something that really should have a reputation - perversion fatigue,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], perhaps.
Obviously, there is nothing modern or cool about saying this. As English journalist Edward Marriott wrote within the Age last month: "There is really a widespread sense that anybody who suggests pornography might have any kind of adverse effect is laughably from touch."
And perhaps I'm. Certainly so porn is hipper now than ever before. Funky kids wear T-shirts with "porn star" and "slut" emblazoned across them. The beautiful people say, "you look so porno" to one another,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and mean it as being a compliment. Tatler magazine, London's fashion bible, declares that "porno chic" is, like, so in right now.
Why the detached irony? When the beautiful people really find porn culture so cool, then why don't you change careers? Why don't you give up their glam jobs in fashion and modelling and become porn stars?
I'd suggest that behind the irony and funky detachment are people struggling to handle their very own a feeling of perversion fatigue. By stating that porn is somehow cool, and as hip and innocently diversionary as a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes, it is much simpler to brush the issue aside. To laugh them back. Magically, something hardcore is converted into cheesecake.
I remember a lady friend telling me how jaded she was by the sexual imagery she saw everywhere. It made her feel inadequate. She resented the way all women were now likely to look sexy constantly - always with the right lipstick, always in the right lingerie, always having a sultry look on their face like they might just orgasm at any time. The pressures and expectations on women were crushing.
Men,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she felt, didn't fare much better. She wondered how the average bloke - bombarded from boyhood onward with graphic and unrealistic images of ladies doing graphic and unrealistic things - could find any excitement or resonance in something as innocent and old-fashioned as a kiss from the girl down the street. Why, she wondered, would they even bother?
It was just about the saddest thing I'd heard.
So are women and men being slowly pushed apart, both victims, diversely,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], of perversion fatigue? The twelve signs as we enter a new year aren't promising. Loneliness is endemic. An incredible number of the world's women are single and unhappy. And an incredible number of males are too busy downloading a clip of Paris Hilton to want to complete much about this.
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