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Men will be boys,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
Jeffrey Stone and his 14-year-old son, Zachary, often find themselves burning CDs by the same artists: Eminem, Staind ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. They are fans of the same TV show,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "Supernatural," on the teen-friendly CW network. When Stone bought Zachary a World Cup T-shirt, he made sure to also buy one for himself. "My friends, they always say my dad is pretty cool," reports Zachary.
Andy Gersten and his 19-year-old son, Ben,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sometimes swap clothing -- "I wear a lot of his old Eddie Bauer clothes, and he wears some of my polo shirts," says Ben -- and share a passion for the Dave Matthews Band and Talking Heads.
Audie Bridges wears jeans and T-shirts most of the time, just like his four sons do. He takes part in triathlons, just like his sons do. He listens to Rage Against the Machine, Weezer, and the Mars Volta, just like his oldest son Zach does. "I've always been open to the things they're into, and they're open to the things I'm into," Bridges says. "I don't know who influences who more."
Good question. The once-bright lines between men and boys are mighty blurry these days. A lot of guys in their 30s,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 40s, and even 50s are finding that they like the same music, movies, fashion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], video games, sports, and comedians as teenagers do. It is a convergence of taste, attitudes , and style that,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to outsiders, can sometimes be a bit confusing. "You look at families, and sometimes you can't tell if it's the son or the dad," exclaims Audrey Guskey, a marketing professor at Duquesne University who researches consumer trends.
"It's funny,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the way we look at time in this country," Guskey adds. "Teenagers desperately want to be older, but once you reach your 20s and 30s you don't mentally want to grow older. And today, society is encouraging that."
And how. Encouragement can be found in clothing stores like The Gap, where there are few distinctions between the attire for men and boys. Or in the worlds of sports and entertainment, where, for instance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 32-year-old Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein is often seen in the traditional teen uniform: jeans, untucked shirt, and baseball cap. Dane Cook , a 34-year-old comedian from Arlington, has become hugely popular with a persona that straddles the line between grown man and eternal teenager (a line also straddled by movie stars in their 30s and 40s like Adam Sandler, Jack Black, Will Ferrell, and Owen Wilson ). Cook's standup routines often revolve around his dismal jobs in fast-food joints and video stores,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the awkward mating rituals between males and females at a dance, his buddy adventures gone awry, and other staples of adolescence.
A fusion of taste between the generations is also evident in the ever-expanding realm of electronic gaming. A Roper Reports survey recently found that 64 percent of respondents ages 13 to 19 said they regularly play video or computer games -- nothing surprising there. What was striking, though, was that nearly one-third of respondents between the ages of 30 and 39 also reported playing such games on a regular basis,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and that nearly one-fifth of those ages 40 to 49 reported doing so. "A generation ago, fathers and sons could connect and have a bond through hunting,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," he says. "Now, fathers and sons bond through video games."
One consequence is that the chasm between the young and the not-so-young -- which yawned wide between the World War II generation and the Flower Power generation -- appears to be closing. "You used to hear the term 'generation gap' quite a lot," notes Rob Callender, trends director of Illinois-based Teenage Research Unlimited. "You don't hear the term a lot anymore. He attributes it to two factors: the exaltation of the teenager that began in the 1960s, and the diminution of traditional concepts of manhood that he ascribes to the feminist movement of the early 1970s. "It's hard for men to be men because it's not considered legitimate or respectable," says Mansfield. "Manliness is not erased or done away with, but since you can't claim it, you get more immature expressions of it. It's legitimate and respectable to be a teenager, but not to be a man."
Yet men like Stone, Bridges, and Gersten are not feckless Peter Pans. They are responsible family men with demanding careers. Stone, 51, of Belchertown, works in information systems for Babson Capital Management, an investment management firm. Bridges, 57, of Wakefield, is a professional musician who teaches classical and jazz guitar at the Music Emporium in Lexington. Gersten,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 49, teaches at Rivier College, in Nashua, in addition to working as a therapist.
But all of them find themselves on the same wavelength, culturally and sartorially speaking, as their teenage sons. They see a distinct parental upside to traversing common ground, with pop culture as a lingua franca. "We have a lot in common," says Zach Bridges, 20. "It feels good." Andy Gersten says he used music as a "bridge to other topics" with his son, such as sex and drugs, allowing him to deliver warning messages from a position of greater credibility.
When Audie Bridges's wife died two years ago, he and his son Zach decided to go ahead a day later with a musical performance at a teacher's retirement party in Wakefield. Then, and in the days to come, Bridges and his five children found it invaluable to speak the common language of music as they learned the common language of grief. "That's one thing that really pulled us together,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," he says.
Still,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even these dare-to-be-hip dads are occasionally nonplussed at how many men nowadays seem to want to think of themselves as envelope-pushing teens. With a laugh, Stone says: "I look at it and I think, 'Is it me?' Is it a male thing? Is it my generation?' "
It's not just baby boomers. Plenty of 20- and 30- somethings think, look , and act like teenagers. Christopher Noxon, 37, is one of them. Noxon recently published a book titled "Rejuveniles," a group he defines as "people who cultivate tastes and mind-sets traditionally associated with those younger than themselves." The book was inspired, he says, by his own realization that "I had a minivan and a mortgage and receding hairline, but I didn't feel at all like a grownup," and that a lot of his peers shared his fondness for PlayStation, iPods, and "Spider-Man" movies.
"Adults of all ages, especially in their 20s and 30s, aren't willing to give up the kind of freewheeling fun that they had when they were teenagers," says Noxon, who lives in Los Angeles. "That refusal to give it up is much less stigmatized now. You're not thought of as being insane if you're a 30- something snowboarder or extreme-sports guy or you're into indie rock and anime. In fact, those things now mark you as kind of iconoclastic and hip."
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